What grade would you give me on my 8thgrade social studies essay?tell me what i need to change n stu

The jazz age had a huge impact on American culture. The evolution of jazz began in the 1920閳ユ獨 also known as the roaring 20閳ユ獨. Jazz came curing era of evolution America was changing from old America to new America. Te sounds of jazz came from all over the globe. Older people in the 1920閳ユ獨 had trouble abiding with the new culture America brought fourth. 閳ユ藩atchmo閳?the king of jazz was why jazz made such a big impact on America閳ユ獨 people. 1920閳ユ獨 style and music evolution also influenced many other types of music.

The 閳ユ竼volution閳?of American cuklture began in the 1920閳ユ獨 also known as the roaring 20閳ユ獨. The start of the 1920閳ユ獨 marked the end of World War 1 and America閳ユ獨 evolution. The first sounds of jazz originated in America. New Orleans was the city of jazz in the 1920閳ユ獨 people called it the birthplace of jazz. Jazz was popular in its early days in African American communities. Without slaves being brought to America would jazz have been discovered?

The roots of jazz started in Africa. Western Africans were the first to produce the first sounds of jazz in America. When slaves were brought to America they were not allowed to bring instruments but they brought their own unique style in music. Louis Armstrong created most of the frist sounds of jazz in America. Many young children followed in Louis閳ユ獨 inspirational footsteps. The 1920閳ユ獨 was the start of some color barriers being broken.

Children, and the movement. Children made jazz music so popular. Children developed a new feel for music from the classical music to the upbeat sounds of jazz. The blues was very popular before jazz but not for kids, kids were into more upbeat sounds and rhythms. That is why they feel in love with jazz music. Some parents disapproved of jazz because of its African roots and popularity in African American communities. They preferred the mellow and light sounds of classical music. Dancing became the new fad fir teens curfews became later and children began to spend more and more time out of their homes. The shimmy and fox trot were big dance styles back in the 20閳ユ獨. Kids were used to classic music such as ballroom dancing and the waltz not the upbeat movements of jazz. Jazz broke many color barriers between African American children and white children. Many children閳ユ獨 jazz groups consisted of black %26amp; whites. Children in this decade were experiencing that transition from old to new America.

Women were and are the back bone of jazz they kept the movement going. Women were either backup singers or songstress. The queen of jazz is Ella Fitzgerald she was one of the first women to hit the big time. Women were not commonly seen playing instruments in the 1920閳ユ獨.Black women were mostly involved in the earlier days of the jazz age. Black women were backup singers for many white songstresses; because back in the 1920閳ユ獨 black women were not allowed to perform infront of big white audience so they got their fame from singing behind people.

The father of jazz changed America for ever. Louis Armstrong AKA 閳ユ藩atchmo閳?was dubbed the king of jazz in the late 1920閳ユ獨. He was born in a poor neighborhood in New Orleans known as the battle field. Louis Armstrong played mostly brass instruments. His music teacher was 閳ユ窚ing閳?Oliver, King taught him how to play the instruments but he made it a style all his own. Satchmo閳ユ獨 music was loved by many blacks and whites children and adults. He refused to play in segregated arenas, bars, and clubs. His band consisted of 12 blacks and 10 whites. That showed American that music is music and it doesn閳ユ獩 matter what race you are. That set a positive example for kids and many kids started to rebel against segregation. But that didn閳ユ獩 change all of America.

Jazz influenced many types of other music. Latin many forms of Latin music evolved from jazz. Latin jazz salsa and maranga have very deep roots in jazz. In Mexico City jazz was a big hit. All they did was add some Spanish and add a spicier beats that people could dance too easy. Even today閳ユ獨 hip hop was influenced by jazz. Gospel music, R%26amp;b, and soul music were also influenced by the sounds of jazz. Without jazz there wouldn閳ユ獩 be the wide variety of music we have today in America.

Jazz made such a big impact on American culture. Children were evolving and begging to love their new found freedoms. People were begging to see that music and race don閳ユ獩 tie together. Women were being appreciated more and began to more things in their communities. Jazz opened doors for many African American children to have their time to shine on stage. Color barriers were begging to crumple it was the end of world war one so it was a time for celebration. Style, hair, and all changed they made a huge transition from old to new America. That was only the begging of the 20閳ユ獨. If all that didn閳ユ獩 occur would we have all that we have today?

What grade would you give me on my 8thgrade social studies essay?tell me what i need to change n stuff?

I'm no teacher so I don't know how to set a grade but I think you have an interesting topic, something I'm sure you could write a whole book on. Here are a few tips.

Some basic aspects which may seem trivial compared to content, but they actually in some cases affect the ability of the reader to understand your arguments: spelling and grammar. For now you need to check your spelling because there are a number of misspellings in the essay. For example you spelled culture "cuklture". There are also places where you have a word that is spelled correctly but used incorrectly. Where you say "curing" at the beginning of the essay I think you meant "during" and you wrote "brought fourth" but that should be "brought forth". I also think that at the end of the essay the word you are wanting to use is 'beginning' not 'begging'. Oh and the Latin music style is spelled merengue.

Also re-check your grammar. There are missing commas and, for example, when you are using the genitive case (possessive case) and the noun ends in 'S' you don't add another 'S'. Thus where it says Louis's it should just say Louis'.

You taught me a new word though. I've never heard the term songstress, just singer. Thanks for that.

As for content I don't think I can help much there. Let me just summarize the points I think you are trying to make. That way you can tell if something is not coming across clearly or if you are getting the message out that you want.

You begin by emphasizing the development of jazz as a part of the post World War II era of development in American culture. You also say that the sound of jazz came from all over the globe, although it seems to me that you later say that it was developed in New Orleans by African Americans of West African descent. So that to me seems to be rather more specific than "all over the globe".

You ask an important question: would jazz have developed had Africans not been brought to the United States as slaves? You also point out the generation gap between parents who disapproved of this new sound and children who loved it. Also you point out that the music helped to break down racial barriers.

Then you talk about the importance of women in jazz and Louis Armstrong and how he had a mixed band and refused to play segregated concert venues.

You talk about the role that jazz has had in the development of other music genres and then conclude by talking about how jazz had a large impact on American culture and that it came about during a time of evolution for young people and women and demonstrated that music is universal and helped African Americans achieve a more prominent position, or perhaps I should say to become more visible, in American culture, possibly helping to pave the way for the civil rights movement of the 60s.

Is that more or less what you were trying to get across?